Argue and Agree

I’m coming back.

My wife is downstairs in the “man room” pounding a set of fake drums in a tutorial for playing a Metallica song on Rock Band. We just finished band practice with our neighbors, who are part of one of our bands in the game. She won’t stop playing until she’s too tired, most likely around 1:30 am or so.

Sometimes, she’ll hold the microphone AND play the drums as the same time. We don’t have a mic stand… you can figure out where she nestles the mic while she plays.

Rock Band is a phenomenon for me. In no other way could you convince me to sing, play imaginary instruments or act like a fool in front of my friends, except in my own basement. I have friends whom I would never expect to do the same come over and get going immediately. There’s no learning or break in. It’s just on, because that’s what music invites you to do… participate.

It’s challenging, fun and completely age-agnostic. It really is fun for the whole family. My nephews owned it before many people in this country did, and they rule it. When I play the drums to a Rush song, I get stoked because I’ve always played drums to Rush songs in my head… for years. And now they offer me the ultimate experience of playing along and learning how to play it. Amazing.

It’s said that the age barrier is disintegrating. Older people are doing the same things outside and inside, as younger people. Mountain biking, going to art shows, buying cell phones, PS3’s, nice jeans and limited edition Nike shoes.

Rock Band capitalizes on this and the fact that Rock is universal now. Who doesn’t want to be in a Rock Band at some point in their life? I play bass guitar mostly, but I can play drums and sing Black Sabbath or Rush songs. Meghan hates Rush. She loves the Beastie Boys though.

There are some extremely notable holes in the music selections in Rock Band including: Led Zeppelin, Guns n’ Roses and Van Halen, to name a few. It’s interesting to note the new lease on life that this game offers to some bands. I am sure my nephews and his friends have bought songs from Itunes because of the game, and maybe even CDs, but why would they?

Led Zeppelin would be a revelation in Rock Band. It would drive millions more people to try and play the game. Same with the Grateful Dead.

I would crap my pants to play “Mr Brownstone” from G n’ R. And “Jump” or “Panama” from Van Halen would be complete insanity. These songs were already part of my life, and I loved them. And with Rock Band, we all get to love them over and over, and act out those fantasies in the privacy of our own home.

In addition to all of this, Rock Band is completely social, relatively healthy (compared to static, seated video games) and playing online offers a rewarding experience. Theoretically, you could join band members from all over the world, go on tour together, improve your skills together, earn gigs, cash, fans and tour perks and make it big in the virtual world.

In Rock Band, there is no narrative, you make it up as you want to. The game provides the tools, you make the decisions. It’s the ultimate “Choose Your Own Adventure”, but there are millions of people playing right along with you.

I truly believe this integrated, social, talent-driven experience is the way gaming should be. It’s a much more positive experience than many other games and it ties together existing entertainment value of the music you love already.

Stop denying yourself some serious, completely harmless, socially networked fun.

TURN IT UP!!! AND RIP THE KNOB OFF!

Starting a new religion would be the ultimate Marketing project. I wouldn’t even care about real estate or money, just acceptance and participation levels.

In order to compete, my religion would have the lowest barrier to entry of any organized community on Earth. In fact, you’re already part of it.

From CNN Today.

“One in four adults ages 18 to 29 claim no affiliation with a religious institution.”

“The American religious economy is like a marketplace — very dynamic, very competitive… Everyone is losing, everyone is gaining. There are net winners and losers, but no one can stand still. Those groups that are losing significant numbers have to recoup them to stay vibrant.”

Note the quote about Buddhism and practicing yogi’s. If Yoga can do it, why can’t we!!??

I’ve been trying to come up with a name for this thing…

Monday I had a flight to California. Sunday I printed out my itinerary, and what it says is this:

American Airlines flight XXX operated by Alaska Airlines

The intended receiver of said digital itinerary is none other than yours truly, and yours truly only gives a shit about one thing in this situation: where the fuck do I need to go to check in?

In fact, the single most important piece of information on that piece of paper is where and when I need to go in order to get on the fucking airplane.

PDX is a small airport, so I can’t go too wrong here. Unless, like is usually the case with me, I have about 15 minutes to get through security and get on the flight. I am a lagger that way.

My brain does the following: American is first on the itinerary, and it’s a bigger airline so I figure that this is the place to go. I am, of course, wrong. So, using a complicated system called trial and error I walk the 100 yards to the Alaska terminal where I try (with no luck, a topic for another posting) to check in using the humanless kiosk.

I do finally get a ticket, get some food and get on the plane.

I come home from California the next day. A man in a very long car is driving me to the San Diego airport. He has been given my itinerary, and so he drops me off where he interprets I need to go based on said itinerary.

He drops me off at American, thus falling into the same trap that I fell into the day before. Damnation.

The San Diego airport, though not huge, is much larger than Portland. It should then be no surprise to find that the Alaska terminal where I need to be is not the same terminal as American, where I now stand sweaty and angry.

I am only guessing at this, as I can’t find for the life of me find a map that shows where an Alaska terminal might be, or where any other terminals might be in fact. This time using process of elimination I figure out that I must be in the wrong place, so I walk outside, feeling rather like a vagrant, and begin to walk up the sidewalk of airport, hoping that sooner or later I will run into another terminal.

I do find another terminal and it does contain the Alaskan ticket counter (where the eletrco-kiosk thing does actually work this time around) and I do get a seat. A middle seat. A seat that I probably wouldn’t have gotten if I had checked in a half an hour earlier. I could have checked in a half an hour earlier if I didn’t have to try an relive a scene from “National Treasure” (a trainwreck of a movie) just to try and figure out where the fuck I am supposed to be going.

I don’t care who operates your flight. I don’t care about your business arrangements, your consolidations, your mergers. I care about three things: where do I need to go, when do I need to be there, and what time do I land. That’s it. The itinerary need not be 2 pages long. It needs to be 3 sentences long.

I don’t care about flight numbers. Flight numbers are useless too! They mean nothing to anybody except a computer that generates them randomly.

Let’s all speak using the works that matter. Let’s use the W words when we can. Who, when, where, why, what, etc. You know the deal. This is the important shit. Save the other trash for the paper pushers in the office.

I want clarity of information. This is the information age, right? I hope that the next age is the age of better information. Give me the info I need, nothing more, nothing less, nothing confusing. I am looking for quality, not quantity.

And those airport kiosk things can suck my balls. More on that later.

[r]

I think I just watched his “I have a dream” speech, from Madison, Wisconsin. This is the first time I’ve felt shivers listening to a politician, the first time I completely respected and believed the words coming out of a candidate’s mouth.

He did not recite a pre-written speech. He integrated real thoughts, unwritten phrases, intelligent word combinations that I’ve never heard come out of a politician with such honesty and belief. You can tell his passion is from the heart, and no where else.

I remember having the complete opposite reaction after listening to George Jr, almost 8 years ago. I was dumbfounded then, and I was floored 4 years later. Deflated for 8 years. Worried, despondent, helpless. I lost faith in society’s ability to move forward.

I know plenty of people who still feel helpless when it comes to the big poltitical/ global issues. People who call themselves Republicans hate what’s going on today. Less than 30% of us are satisfied with the government.

This new man is smart and honest. And women dig him because he tells them, “I love you too.”

I knew a band that had a similar effect on the audience: The Pants. No seriously, chicks DUG that band in the same way they shriek, weep and shout at Barack. There’s something about a decent looking, well-spoken, confident dude on stage that drives women nuts. He’s tapped into it, he’s got appeal on many levels.

So, say you’re Republican, and you’re leaning towards McCain. What are you really worried about losing by voting for Barack? I mean, he’s not going to step in and screw you over in his first day in office. I am sure a lot of the things he’d be doing would benefit you just as well. And you’ve had it pretty good for the past 8 years, so give the rest of us a chance to get some shit passed through.

Not to mention the fact that McCain is in worse physical and mental shape than Cheney. His mind is jacked and I don’t trust the judgement of old, white men any more. I can’t wait to see Barack tear into him in a debate and drive him nuts the way the lawyers on TV do. Will be interesting to see how he holds up under pressure.

My bet is on a younger, smarter, more energetic, more well-spoken, WHOLLY BELIEVABLE politician. I don’t even care if he follows through on everything he says. He’ll inspire people to be smarter and better…and that’s a hell of a lot more inspiration than kids get from our current Asshole-In-Chief.

This just in. Assholism seems to run in the Bush/ Clinton families.

1. Long rain coats are the new symbol of weird. I’ve never watched someone cross the street or walk down the street in a long rain coat (trench style or otherwise) and thought different. There’s always a chance that person is weird, and there’s a good chance they think and do weird stuff regularly. Why wear that long coat? What is it you’re trying to hide from prying eyes? Don’t you realize those coats are long out of style, and haven’t been looked upon with envy since the early 1940’s?

2. Serious messages should be delivered verbally and directly, not via bumper stickers. I am a hater of bumper stickers. So much so, that I created a series of “anti-bumper stickers” to combat those who would profess, preach, demand and generally be annoying via printed vinyl. If you’d like some anti-bumper stickers, simply add your mailing address to a response below and I’ll gladly send you a few packs. They’ll be for sale in the future here.

3. Money is not only a necessary evil, it’s the fundamental motivator of society. Consumers are killing it, and I’m part of the driving force that’s keeping our economy out of the crapper. I can’t believe how much money we spend, and yet, it keeps coming. There’s a never-ending list of things we need today, and none of that counts things we’re going to need tomorrow! Nor does it count things we just want for the hell of it. As long as there is money to be made somehow, people will continue to make it and spend it, wisely or otherwise.

4. Portland is for everyone I know. You like burgers? We gots ‘em. Enjoy mountain biking? Best in the country is nearby. Salmon fishing? Drop a line in downtown Portland…you might just hook a sturgeon. Enjoy living on the street? By all means, as it seems far friendlier to live a slim lifestyle here than many other large cities. History buff? I’ve walked along the great wagon tracks of the western pioneers near here. Enjoy nasty strip clubs? Lord have mercy, this place is your new heaven. Donuts? 24 hours a day in every flavor under the sky. Hate driving a car? Why bother… bike lanes, public transport’s great and you can walk almost anywhere in town within an hour. Need a job? Half of my friends in Portland (and my wife) work at Nike. The other half make money freelancing for Nike. Figure it out.

5. Technology can only improve your life if you commit to it, slightly. My brother is frustrated by cell phones, websites and email. There’s a blockage in his mind that will not allow him to get past the act of learning the minimum. It’s a hump that takes a certain level of understanding and commitment. There’s also a philosophy behind the best technology that’s helpful to understand and/ or believe in. That philosophy revolves around the function of servers and databases, as well as the use of well-designed graphical interfaces. If you have a basic understanding of those concepts as well as the belief that nerds are the new jocks, you will benefit greatly from technology. Adopt Iphone.

6. The Patriots disappeared. What the hell happened? I haven’t heard or read BOO about fallout from the biggest Super Bowl loss in football history. I haven’t read any scathing “I told you so’s” in sports journals, nor have I heard morning shows make fun of Brady, comment on the ankle or berate Belichick. I really think people were so shocked and disappointed, they didn’t even want to remember what happened. It’s almost as if, in terms of society, what could have been one of the greatest stories in sports history was doused so quickly, that no one cares to consider it further. We just moved on, realizing that the Patriots will NEVER, EVER have a chance to be perfect again. And it will be many years before any team will live up to their pre-Super Bowl performances. I think it’s a new curse called the “18-game-win-streak” curse.

Bah, who cares about all this crap… it’s all about OBAMA baby!

This is amazing.

This is ridiculous.

First of all, I don’t own an Iphone. I wish I did, but I do have an Ipod Touch, which is basically an Iphone without said phone and the camera. This is due to the fact that I have a Blackberry for work (that work pays for) that has the phone and the camera on it. I still carry two devices just like I did pre-Ipod touch.

My Ipod Touch is the single most amazing “thing” I have ever purchased or owned. It is really that incredbile in many ways, and as the open plaform for development comes on line (in the very near future) this little device will continue to blow minds for a long time to come.

Still, I am unsatisfied, and the reason that I am unsatisfied is this: the fucking headphones suck. They suck incredibly, both in terms of quality, but more so in terms of design. When I say design, I don’t mean to imply that they don’t look nice (they do). What I mean is they that they fall short of delivering on what people want and need from headphones.

Point blank: There is no reason in the world that the mandatory counterpart for a device as amazing as the Iphone should be a wadded up pair of cheap earbuds, just like the ones I had in 6th grade.

Here is the situation that I deal with nearly every day. I reach in my pocket to pull out my Ipod and the earbuds clumsily wrapped up around it. I try to get the earbuds untangled, and into my ears. What I end up with is a mess of wire of such magnitute that it oft makes me laugh out loud. I find myself thinking that God must be cruel, creating a world where a cord can, without any human intervention, tie itself into such a web of knots that it will take minutes to untangle, yet if I had ever a need to tie a cord into such knots there is no chance that I could ever get it to hold.

Also, earbuds are shaped exactly like fishhooks, and work just like fishooks, catching on everyting in their path. I am always yanking and jiggling the cord trying to get the buds uncaught from some piece of clothing. Why? My ears aren’t shaped like a fish mouth. Are they?

As a company I like Apple. I like Apple a lot. I like their products. I like their emphasis on design and design ethos. I think it is because I hold Apple to this higher standard that I can’t believe the scope of their miss here. They didn’t pay attention to the entire user experience. They were too focused on the technological wonder that would be the Iphone itself.

So, as to be fair about this let me put out a few quick ideas for what could be done here to make this better:

1. Wireless headphones. You can get wireless speakers and even wireless T.V. these days. Surely there is potential for small wireless headphones. There are plenty of larger wireless headphone solutions out there.

2. Incorporation of a small “dock” for the earbuds themselves would be nice.

3. A small recess in the body of the Iphone itself to serve as a cord manager

4. Retractable solutions

5. Coiling solutions (similar to the Sonys I used in 6th grade).

6. Bluetooth? How is it I can get an entire phone in a package not that much larger than my earbuds?

In 6th grade I was a Walkman fanatic. I had one of those super-tech mini Walkman cassette players (which was amazing) and the Sony coiled headphones, and I was stoked. Today, my headphones are basically the same (minus the coiling case) the the size of the Iphone is comparable to that of my Walkman. Sure, the Iphone does 10 times more than old Walkman, but in it’s primary function as a portable music solution it still has a lot in common with it’s old analog cousin from the ’80s. There is still much work to be done.

Don’t even get me started on the Apple laptop docking station issue.

[r]

I’ve been asked to perform a wedding for two great friends. I don’t know how to do it, but I know I’d like to have some things to say that will help tie the day together with their feelings and the experience of getting married in front of friends and family.

So I’ve been thinking about what matters most to people who are getting married, like we did a lil’ over a year ago. And you know what? It’s made me think about what matters most to everyone here:

It occurred to me that everyone believes something different about the origins of human life and how everything around us became. No one believes the exact same thing as someone else in this regard. There’s no way, our minds are too different. That fact alone makes it hard to call one religion more correct than another. I’ve always wondered how different religions can coexist respectfully with such disparate views of the origins of life.

Something worth reading here.

When we all understand and believe the same, truths about how we got here, (and what’s out there…) many many things will be solved, and the intense contention between people will dissipate. This contention and the fear, terrible behavior and ignorance it breeds is the stuff of the worst in all of us.

The problem is: How are we going to figure it out? I’m leaning towards science and technology

Read THIS and realize how little we and our trifling problems really matter.

After reading that, I also wonder, if the Universe has a size, then it has an edge. What’s lying next to it? Or around it?

We are so lame to be worried about money, fashion, politics, plastic surgery, websites, and pretty pictures. All of the smartest people around should be put to solve the hardest question: Who are we and what the hell are we doing here?

Is love the only answer?

A. Rich, slow, white people think they own the place.
2. Every other damned intersection has a different config: 4 way, no way, light, crosswalk, bike lane, construction.
- Why have roads open to cars and trucks when the whole friggin’ neighborhood is designed for lazy, over-shopping pedestrians on their way to sip a $15 martini within 3 blocks of their million-dollar 400 sq. foot condo.
d. There’s nothing to look at while you sit in your car.
* Parked cars are not see-through, therefore allowing people to park their Lexuseses right to the edge of the corner don’t make for safe passage through said intersections. What the fuck.
6. No drive throughs for anything.
> Getting through the neighborhood just brings you to more of the same. There’s no destination, no reward, no freedom in that manufactured hell-hole.
H. What’s up with the name “The Pearl District”? Far lamer than St. Johns or No-Po. I hate that place.
+ Why drive through a neighborhood where the only place worth visiting is the Daily Cafe, which is actually pretty easily reachable, on the edge of the most annoying stretch of Portland blocks from 14th to 10th, Lovejoy to Burnside.
Ten. I’m over the pretentiousness of its’ residents.

I love Bugerville. I do. I guess that’s all that really counts. Fuck it.