A. Rich, slow, white people think they own the place.
2. Every other damned intersection has a different config: 4 way, no way, light, crosswalk, bike lane, construction.
- Why have roads open to cars and trucks when the whole friggin’ neighborhood is designed for lazy, over-shopping pedestrians on their way to sip a $15 martini within 3 blocks of their million-dollar 400 sq. foot condo.
d. There’s nothing to look at while you sit in your car.
* Parked cars are not see-through, therefore allowing people to park their Lexuseses right to the edge of the corner don’t make for safe passage through said intersections. What the fuck.
6. No drive throughs for anything.
> Getting through the neighborhood just brings you to more of the same. There’s no destination, no reward, no freedom in that manufactured hell-hole.
H. What’s up with the name “The Pearl District”? Far lamer than St. Johns or No-Po. I hate that place.
+ Why drive through a neighborhood where the only place worth visiting is the Daily Cafe, which is actually pretty easily reachable, on the edge of the most annoying stretch of Portland blocks from 14th to 10th, Lovejoy to Burnside.
Ten. I’m over the pretentiousness of its’ residents.
Top Ten Reasons to Never Drive Through the Pearl Ever
January 31st, 2008 by Switchblade · 3 Responses
Tags: Portland
3 responses ↓
1 vtlogcabin // Feb 2, 2008 at 11:26 am
as someone who worked in the Pearl… I whole heartedly agree about the driving situation. There is nothing more frustrating than some jackass cock blocking traffic because he’s trying to decide if he’s going to go to Blue Hour for said $15 martini. (I must add… there is no better margarita in the summer than at Blue Hour… especially the blackberry ones in August. I stand by this. Or french fries for that matter.)
One thing the Pearl definitely offers is superb people watching. I could sit at most any restaurant and sip overpriced drinks and just people watch all night.
No drive-throughs is a good thing in my mind. There need to be a lot less of those in America.
I would also add that Coulter is not a pretentious person and he is a resident of the Pearl.
2 J. O'Shea // Feb 7, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I didn’t even know that you could cock block traffic.
Little Wing is on Laura’s places to visit when we’re visiting.
Blue Hour is naught.
That little joint around the corner from Blue Hour and a block and half towards the Williamette is pretty good for a grilled cheese and a milkshake.
3 Tara // Feb 8, 2008 at 2:57 pm
that blue place got us nice and drunk at lunch. fun. the only thing good about the pearl is ryan coulter. hugs tara
oh yeah and a piece of peanut butter cup cheese cake from papa haydn
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